ZOE CONTROS KEARL
And I Will Cast Off Jerusalem
Not ashamed of a brand that extends
from Sad But Hot,
to just sad
or just hot.
Whitening my teeth again and acting out
fuck Hegel, fuck Heidegger, it’s exhausting,
phenomenology of whatever and a blue white mean streak,
the art of cruelty on a chain.
Paranoid and probably not wrong,
I’ll eat my secrets with salt.
Reckless but I won’t put you in danger,
ask me about the broken tooth, the rolled car,
the cocaine and codeine and excess and
the loneliness.
Nowadays it’s Danish modern bookcases and
tending to indoor plants,
it’s credenzas and cleaning the windows and flossing,
but all the rest is still there, whispering,
party of one.
from Sad But Hot,
to just sad
or just hot.
Whitening my teeth again and acting out
fuck Hegel, fuck Heidegger, it’s exhausting,
phenomenology of whatever and a blue white mean streak,
the art of cruelty on a chain.
Paranoid and probably not wrong,
I’ll eat my secrets with salt.
Reckless but I won’t put you in danger,
ask me about the broken tooth, the rolled car,
the cocaine and codeine and excess and
the loneliness.
Nowadays it’s Danish modern bookcases and
tending to indoor plants,
it’s credenzas and cleaning the windows and flossing,
but all the rest is still there, whispering,
party of one.
Where You Can Hear the Jets Fly Overhead
Tempted, For Honor, Buttermilk, Gun Runner Candy Ride, Domino, Lucky Joy, War Admiral
Flying First Class, Congregation, Cash Out,
Holiday Bonus, Hollow Bullet, Hey Dakota, Hunting Buddy,
Endless Time, Neoclassic,
Reality Queen, Angel Choir, Wild About Irene,
Forever Sure,
American Halo, Bella Christina, Too Cool, Cutty Sark, Rooftop View, Honey Don’t,
National Defense, Stock Trade, Special Relativity,
Seeking Paradise.
Beating science and logic with thudding hearts,
a cigarette in my mouth against the cold and the divine, out there.
The pack of horses move like something quick and violent,
the money on the counter and the woman behind bulletproof glass.
All of us washed up under the lights
holding white paper betting slips like verses, vespers
Book of the Dead papyrus full of tomorrows and Sundays.
Gun Runner Candy Ride pounding the track,
the noise of the crowd, the green of the turf,
he would love the ocean.
His blood is rushing like whitewater
he is looking for the winner’s circle,
eyes panicked and coal black,
joints hard and fine and beautiful, innocent.
The sound of his breath the same as if his ear was held to
the soft, delicate pinkness of forever.
Flying First Class, Congregation, Cash Out,
Holiday Bonus, Hollow Bullet, Hey Dakota, Hunting Buddy,
Endless Time, Neoclassic,
Reality Queen, Angel Choir, Wild About Irene,
Forever Sure,
American Halo, Bella Christina, Too Cool, Cutty Sark, Rooftop View, Honey Don’t,
National Defense, Stock Trade, Special Relativity,
Seeking Paradise.
Beating science and logic with thudding hearts,
a cigarette in my mouth against the cold and the divine, out there.
The pack of horses move like something quick and violent,
the money on the counter and the woman behind bulletproof glass.
All of us washed up under the lights
holding white paper betting slips like verses, vespers
Book of the Dead papyrus full of tomorrows and Sundays.
Gun Runner Candy Ride pounding the track,
the noise of the crowd, the green of the turf,
he would love the ocean.
His blood is rushing like whitewater
he is looking for the winner’s circle,
eyes panicked and coal black,
joints hard and fine and beautiful, innocent.
The sound of his breath the same as if his ear was held to
the soft, delicate pinkness of forever.
ZOE CONTROS KEARL lives in New York. She is a graduate of NYU’s Gallatin School of Individualized Study and is currently an MFA candidate at Columbia University. Her work has been featured in Imperial Matters, Public Pool, and elsewhere.