ELLIE BLACK
Image by Andrea Aidekman
The Care and Keeping of Your Britney Spears
Note that, if left alone for extended periods,
your Britney may begin to malfunction.
Results depend on her model: Britney 1.0
seeks attention, may rush, for instance, into
marriage. Model 1, though groundbreaking
in its time, is inclined to flights of fancy: she wants
a feather boa and a crop top, sunglasses, to pop
her gum, to join the church choir. She will always
be very young, despite common attempts
to jailbreak her age commands. Britneys
2.0 and beyond seek a higher satisfaction,
though these models are more susceptible to virus
and water damage, causing issues in memory
capacity and processing: You may find Britney 4.7
through 5.9 banging her head against the walls
of her room, muttering freak freak
freak. Be assured that she is only speaking
to herself, though this is a small comfort.
You may find Britney, umbrella in hand,
wires snaking from her wrists, outside
your car, breathing heavily. Be assured
that no part of her system requires
oxygen. If Britney feels neglected, you may
catch her staring from the upstairs window.
You may find her face-down on her bed,
smelling acidic; this indicates the need
for a change in battery. If her eyes
have glossed over, she is probably
undergoing a system update induced
by self-medication. You may be tempted
to take your Britney to the hospital,
but it is unlikely that they will be able
to resolve your issue. Replacement parts
for even the most up-to-date Britneys
are rare. It is best in these cases simply
to buy a new Britney.
your Britney may begin to malfunction.
Results depend on her model: Britney 1.0
seeks attention, may rush, for instance, into
marriage. Model 1, though groundbreaking
in its time, is inclined to flights of fancy: she wants
a feather boa and a crop top, sunglasses, to pop
her gum, to join the church choir. She will always
be very young, despite common attempts
to jailbreak her age commands. Britneys
2.0 and beyond seek a higher satisfaction,
though these models are more susceptible to virus
and water damage, causing issues in memory
capacity and processing: You may find Britney 4.7
through 5.9 banging her head against the walls
of her room, muttering freak freak
freak. Be assured that she is only speaking
to herself, though this is a small comfort.
You may find Britney, umbrella in hand,
wires snaking from her wrists, outside
your car, breathing heavily. Be assured
that no part of her system requires
oxygen. If Britney feels neglected, you may
catch her staring from the upstairs window.
You may find her face-down on her bed,
smelling acidic; this indicates the need
for a change in battery. If her eyes
have glossed over, she is probably
undergoing a system update induced
by self-medication. You may be tempted
to take your Britney to the hospital,
but it is unlikely that they will be able
to resolve your issue. Replacement parts
for even the most up-to-date Britneys
are rare. It is best in these cases simply
to buy a new Britney.
Self-Portrait as Anna Nicole
We Southern girls have to stick
together, our bodies blown
up with time and indecision:
I guess you can be beautiful
just long enough to get what
you want. Then it's back
to Vickie Lynn. Norma Jean
if you’re lucky. And once
you’ve been seen, there’s not
enough lipstick in the world
to cover you back up. Not enough
hair dye. Every photograph
a rotting leftover. We girls
who parked ourselves, at ten
years old, in front of the news
to watch the pretty lady
deteriorate, or watched the same
old movies over and over—
you saw the sadness
in her that lived in you. If
you didn’t see it, you made it.
Every night, we crossed
our fingers to keep less
food down, prayed for a man
to make us feel like we did
when we read the tabloids. Now,
it’s fine if everybody knows
who you really are, but do they need
to see it all the time? All I have done
is build and scratch and sculpt
a body you’ll want
to remember. Lord,
I was born to love
everybody a little more
than I love myself,
so here’s what I’ve learned:
You can’t just slip your soul out
and be somebody else. Can’t change
your name enough times to keep death
from coming into your house.
together, our bodies blown
up with time and indecision:
I guess you can be beautiful
just long enough to get what
you want. Then it's back
to Vickie Lynn. Norma Jean
if you’re lucky. And once
you’ve been seen, there’s not
enough lipstick in the world
to cover you back up. Not enough
hair dye. Every photograph
a rotting leftover. We girls
who parked ourselves, at ten
years old, in front of the news
to watch the pretty lady
deteriorate, or watched the same
old movies over and over—
you saw the sadness
in her that lived in you. If
you didn’t see it, you made it.
Every night, we crossed
our fingers to keep less
food down, prayed for a man
to make us feel like we did
when we read the tabloids. Now,
it’s fine if everybody knows
who you really are, but do they need
to see it all the time? All I have done
is build and scratch and sculpt
a body you’ll want
to remember. Lord,
I was born to love
everybody a little more
than I love myself,
so here’s what I’ve learned:
You can’t just slip your soul out
and be somebody else. Can’t change
your name enough times to keep death
from coming into your house.
ELLIE BLACK is a poetry reader at the Adroit Journal and an Associate Editor with Sibling Rivalry Press. Her work can be found in or is forthcoming from Split Lip Magazine, Crab Fat Magazine, DIAGRAM, Best New Poets 2018, and others; she was recently a semifinalist for the Adroit Prizes in Poetry.
