A. HULKOWER
Thunderbird
On a plane somewhere over New Mexico, I realize Thelma & Louise is a movie about men
hurting women. Or rather, women who have been hurt by men.
The whole film hinges on an assault that they know wouldn’t have been believed. A rule: if you
danced with them, no one will believe it was rape.
Sometimes, the only way to get respect is to grab it: squeeze it until it bursts, bloody putty in
your hands.
A nasty man mimes cunnilingus. Again, a few miles down. Would they all be so bold facing my
pet rattlesnake? Me: sitting on their chest, playing the game where you almost spit on their face.
I wonder.
Back to the gals. That god-awful cop. It’s always the ones who believe they are on your team.
Mountains rise and fall off the highway. What good is this map? This landscape that won’t talk
back.
Every woman I know has a story. Even if they don’t want to speak about it. Like how Louise
won’t step foot in Texas. Makes me sick; I spit out the window. If I smoked, I’d crush the cig
under my boot.
We harden like they do: a road trip, a lifetime. We get sweatier, dirtier, care less. More free. Feel
safe with one another. Elegance got us nowhere.
Why is this the only way?
Sometimes, the best revenge is to get out: we grasp hands.
hurting women. Or rather, women who have been hurt by men.
The whole film hinges on an assault that they know wouldn’t have been believed. A rule: if you
danced with them, no one will believe it was rape.
Sometimes, the only way to get respect is to grab it: squeeze it until it bursts, bloody putty in
your hands.
A nasty man mimes cunnilingus. Again, a few miles down. Would they all be so bold facing my
pet rattlesnake? Me: sitting on their chest, playing the game where you almost spit on their face.
I wonder.
Back to the gals. That god-awful cop. It’s always the ones who believe they are on your team.
Mountains rise and fall off the highway. What good is this map? This landscape that won’t talk
back.
Every woman I know has a story. Even if they don’t want to speak about it. Like how Louise
won’t step foot in Texas. Makes me sick; I spit out the window. If I smoked, I’d crush the cig
under my boot.
We harden like they do: a road trip, a lifetime. We get sweatier, dirtier, care less. More free. Feel
safe with one another. Elegance got us nowhere.
Why is this the only way?
Sometimes, the best revenge is to get out: we grasp hands.
Marilyn
a photographer I once saw featured in an exhibit had taken a photograph of her
legs between two mirrors — simply an excess of legs
oh, dear it has been so long. and those flowers from your mother! an excess of
legs, now I have an excess of flowers. funny, life, and it’s such a great one.
your grandfather has gone out to get some things, so I have you all to myself,
ha! but of course we had visitors this morning. we have them every day such
wonderful friends. I hope you will come sooner than later while I can still —
excuse me, I’m drying up. it’s the pills but don’t hang up, just talk to me and
I’ll listen for now.
I can’t get up for the water, but I am drying up. perhaps I could drink the
flowers the water from the vase. Do you remember the circus? You were just three
and it was so so hot, I could tell you had a fever but I didn’t care, I let you eat
cotton candy and kiss me over and over my whole face. I was sick for weeks
legs between two mirrors — simply an excess of legs
oh, dear it has been so long. and those flowers from your mother! an excess of
legs, now I have an excess of flowers. funny, life, and it’s such a great one.
your grandfather has gone out to get some things, so I have you all to myself,
ha! but of course we had visitors this morning. we have them every day such
wonderful friends. I hope you will come sooner than later while I can still —
excuse me, I’m drying up. it’s the pills but don’t hang up, just talk to me and
I’ll listen for now.
I can’t get up for the water, but I am drying up. perhaps I could drink the
flowers the water from the vase. Do you remember the circus? You were just three
and it was so so hot, I could tell you had a fever but I didn’t care, I let you eat
cotton candy and kiss me over and over my whole face. I was sick for weeks
A Guide for Survivors
Who will you tell? If you assess If given HIV PEP discuss if pictures
will be taken. I should not have been at the party. Consent for exam without
parental approval. Is there someone who can stay with you? Forensic evidence
can be collected You are not crazy. Medical examiner can use discretion Give
information instead of advice He let his friend hide in the closet and watch. Kits
will be held by hospital for at least 20 years. Underwear and clothing for survivors.
I couldn’t find my thong, I found out later he had kept it and shown the rest of the
guys. Introduce yourself. Assessing, treating and documenting injuries. Coming to
the ED was very courageous. This is an opportunity to inform the survivor about
services. I couldn’t figure out why he had his phone—a Blackberry—in his hand. I
think about the small red light. What are you most worried about? Call a backup in
difficult cases Referral for follow-up at appropriate clinics He went on to Yale. The
importance of medical followup Resource packets are located in the Twins’ spare
bedroom next to the room where they were smoking pot DFSA kit can be
collected within 96 hours Resource packet You are not to blame. I’m here to help
you through the process here Now men in khakis make me nervous Evidence
collection He promised he would take me on a date if I had sex with him
Introduce yourself Safety planning tips He wants to go into politics. The right to
decide whether the police are called Who will you tell?
will be taken. I should not have been at the party. Consent for exam without
parental approval. Is there someone who can stay with you? Forensic evidence
can be collected You are not crazy. Medical examiner can use discretion Give
information instead of advice He let his friend hide in the closet and watch. Kits
will be held by hospital for at least 20 years. Underwear and clothing for survivors.
I couldn’t find my thong, I found out later he had kept it and shown the rest of the
guys. Introduce yourself. Assessing, treating and documenting injuries. Coming to
the ED was very courageous. This is an opportunity to inform the survivor about
services. I couldn’t figure out why he had his phone—a Blackberry—in his hand. I
think about the small red light. What are you most worried about? Call a backup in
difficult cases Referral for follow-up at appropriate clinics He went on to Yale. The
importance of medical followup Resource packets are located in the Twins’ spare
bedroom next to the room where they were smoking pot DFSA kit can be
collected within 96 hours Resource packet You are not to blame. I’m here to help
you through the process here Now men in khakis make me nervous Evidence
collection He promised he would take me on a date if I had sex with him
Introduce yourself Safety planning tips He wants to go into politics. The right to
decide whether the police are called Who will you tell?
A. HULKOWER is a poet and copywriter. She is passionate about reproductive justice and volunteers at various health centers in NYC. Her work also appears or is forthcoming in publications including No Dear, Brokelyn and Heavy Feather Review.